Bhagavad Gita is briefly covered as part of our TTC Philosophy Module. One of the things that caught my eye is a quote from Ch. 6 Dhyana Yoga (Yoga of Meditation) which says “One should elevate oneself and never degrade oneself. One is one’s best friend and one is one’s worst enemy” [6.05]
To me that translates into something along the lines of “I am my own worst critique”. Countless times during the past 3 weeks since TTC commenced I have caught myself with these negative talks like “Omg Nabilla, just get over your fear already” and “Urgh, why am I not as strong as him/her” and “Seriously, it’s JUST a side plank, why can’t I just get it right”
A little too often than I’d like it to be, I sometimes forget that we are all here on our own journeys. Each of us has something that we will all need to individually gain from this course, whether it is to go beyond a limiting fear (like me!), to gain a deeper understanding of one’s own spirituality or to challenge the boundaries of our own comfort zone by living so far away from home for an extended period of time.
At the end of today’s evening practice, while everyone headed off to dinner, I had a quick practice of headstand with Kirsten. Bless his patient soul, as I keep pulling him back at the end of our classes to help me with my headstand. On one of those days, it took me forever to straighten both of my legs up in the air that he resorted to pulling it up and straighten it for me instead (gently of course). Hahaha! Even though we have yet to cross the finish line for this course, I am already convinced he will make a great yoga teacher, patient, full of humility and ever so precise in explaining all the possible methods to go in and out of certain poses.
Today, I got up into an assisted headstand and momentarily stayed there unsupported. Everything felt light, like my head was still on the ground but the weight of my entire body was floating up towards the sky. And shortly after, I did my first ‘baby’ headstand with knees bent to my chest before squealing back to the floor in delight and jumping up to give Kirsten a high-five. I caught Kosta laughing to himself, possibly amused by the both of us.
A conversation with Ryan a couple of weeks ago lead to me experimenting to sit with a belief every single day. For the past few days I had been meditating around the thought of “I am patience”. It’s not that I need to be patient, but rather having the sense that I am already embodying the qualities of patience. And you know what? It has helped me to be kinder, and less harsh in my own little speech to myself. It reminds me (as per my previous entries) that it will come.
There will be no shortcuts to building strength or gaining flexibility and 7-Eleven may never stock “instant-strength-in-a-can” on its shelves. But what we can all learn to do is to be patient with ourselves, and eventually to be our own, most awesome version of a best friend.