Day 2 – Love as an Illusion


I am aching all over. I think everyone is. We talk about how intensive the classes are at the end of each class. But George and Kosta has been kind this morning, and I remembered reclining into a child’s pose so I could catch my breathe only once throughout the entire 2 1/2 class. And that is a achievement on its own!

In theory class we covered the layers of Maya and what each of the different layers mean. Maya in a nutshell means Illusion, and that our world is largely made up from these ‘illusion’ or rather perception of how we see and experience it. Somehow we floated from the concept of death (deep!) to love (even deeper!). Our discussion was lively, and incredibly engaging. One of my fellow yogi-in-training, Ryan, chipped in with his nugget of thoughts, about love being understood in two major ways. I can’t seem to find the words to articulate and justify his words, but they were profound and it hit me right at the spot which gave me an understanding and answered some of my questions that I had for years now.

Kosta shared his experience in which his own understanding (of Maya) made him realise that we are all put into this lifetime, and this reality to experience. That’s it. So whatever situation that we are given, whatever emotions that result from it, is for us to experience. Simple right? I don’t know why that thought never occur to me when things are really difficult. He also mentioned that words usually do not justify the personal experience that one has when certain understanding comes to them. I guess I’ll just have to try my best to justify my experience here through this blog!

Asana practice in the evening was equally as rewarding. I could feel my right wrist gaining a little bit more strength than yesterday, as I dropped down into numerous chaturangas and downward dogs. The ache runs all along my right arm, but I believe that is strength in the making 🙂 Iron wrists in the next 30 days? I sure hope so!

I explained to Kosta last night of the fear which I have going into and out of a plough. Yes, I can do it with guidance and a person standing above for me to grab in my moment of panic as my feet reaches for the floor beyond my neck. But on my own, I know my feet hovers less than 10cms off the floor yet I give up because it scares the living crap out of me to go beyond that. So today, Kosta gave us another plough at the end and was kind enough to keep an eye out on me. True enough, as I reach my feet up in the air, right leg bending over and beyond my head to the floor behind me, I freeze and stop. He came over, hovering just above me, calves to each side and told me to get into the full pose without holding on to him. And what did I do? At some point when my torso is high up in the air (I do apologise if you have NO idea what I’m trying to describe..), I panic and both hands literally gripped his calves. The kind of gripping that involves digging my nails into his legs, which I can’t imagine being pleasant in any way.

At the end of class, I approached George for another try as I was not satisfied with my earlier trials. I mean, if you do it enough times than it SHOULD come naturally. At least that is the philosophy I’m subscribing to now! George had a different method of getting into and out of it, as is expected with different teachers who each have their own styles. That is one thing I appreciate from having them both in the class is the dynamic essence they bring to the class that complements each others styles.

I am also beginning to notice the conversations and interactions that take place amongst fellow yogis-in-training. It is easy. Connection is effortless. Identifying with one another is seamless. And I am both amazed and in awe at the speed that everyone is connecting with each other. This morning I knocked on Chandra’s door for some hot water, since my Survivor style bamboo hut doesn’t have one so I could make some breakfast of oatmeals before morning class. Lenka, her neighbor across her room opened her door instead and I got my hot water off her as she was headed towards the pool for an early morning read. Chandra  on the other hand hails from the busy city of Jakarta, Indonesia and our conversations are funny as we try to translate for each other typical words in English to Bahasa Indonesia/Malaysia for our other classmates. What started from “how old are you?” conversation quickly turned into her sharing her experiences navigating through her romantic relationships until she got married in November last year. In a normal reality, it will probably take me 1 month of getting to know someone before they openly tell stories like that. Here, everything is sped up to 1 day 🙂

I must say though, if everything is an illusion, than certainly this experience now is one of the most beautiful.


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